FOR HIM & HER: Love & Will

Love and Will – another expression of masculine and feminine

Most of us are familiar with the concepts of the masculine and feminine. These differ from male and female. Although typically most men tend towards the more masculine and most women towards the feminine this is by no means exclusive and the concepts of masculine and feminine are not gender limited or limiting.

Shiva & Shakti
In tantra the masculine and feminine energies have very specific roles. The masculine is portrayed as Lord Shiva. His qualities are presence, attention, solidity, steadfastness. He is consciousness, awareness.

The feminine is known as Shakti. Shakti is the goddess, she is energy. In science all matter is actually energy, vibrating at different frequencies. Shakti is that energy and so she is all that is manifest.

Shiva observes Shakti with impassivity. He is merely the witness. There is a saying in tantra that without Shakti, Shiva cannot even lift his finger. Another saying has it that without Shakti, Shiva is a corpse. So the duality of Shiva & Shakti, of masculine & feminine is essential to life.

Another way to express these concepts of masculine and feminine is through the imagery of Love and Will.

Three Types of Love
Love, as we may easily imagine is the feminine principal. There are many models for Love. It comes in many forms but here is one model based on Osho’s thoughts in “Love, Freedom & Aloneness”. The lowest, he says, is Lust; physical desire, sexuality. This is the base of the pillar of Love. It is not Love in itself but without this foundation the pillar of Love cannot be built. Osho says “Sex is just an opportunity to grow beyond it[self] – but one has to pass through it”.

The second level of Love he talks about is that of egoic love. This can have many forms but it is limited to forms where there is some giving and receiving. It could be described in transactional analysis terms. “I will love you so long as you....( affirm me/buy me things/comply with me/meet my needs)” There’s a vast spectrum of possibilities ranging from the reasonable (“I would like you to meet my need to be loved”) to the mercenary!

The third and highest level is Unconditional Love. This is the divine Love. It is not constrained by ego, by fear or our personal smallness. It is the Love which gives without asking anything back. If we are lucky we can experience this in relationship, not merely as some philosophical construct. Loving ones partner enough that we allow them to be exactly who they are, we may express Love towards them without wanting anything in return. This Love of course also extends beyond personal relationship and into the divine.

On the Will
The masculine principal may also be expressed as the Will. I mean this not in some rigid Victorian way but in a number of different forms.

Like Love, the Will has many aspects. These can be defined as:

Strong Will – use of Will power of achieve results
Skilful Will – using aptitude to find the easiest path to a desired outcome
Good Will – acts of kindness
Transpersonal Will – that which serves our Higher Self and hence the universal consciousness

The Will is the masculine in action. Will is what is required to create. We can train our Will to achieve whatever we desire.

Balancing Love & Will
Only through combining both of these can we function fully in both our masculine and feminine aspects. Will used without Love can be destructive and selfish. Love expressed without Will can be ineffectual.

Heart Exercise
Here is a simple exercise to help you feel both Love & Will in action. Stand side on to your partner and hold their heart by placing one hand on their back and the other on their chest, both at heart level. The physical touch brings attention to that place and by having a hand in front and one behind, centred at the heart, this becomes the focus.

Invite them to breathe in through your hand holding them at the front. As they do, ask them to visualise Love entering into them through your hand.

Now invite them to breathe in through the hand holding them from behind. Get them to imagine that a sense of strength, Will and purpose enters their heart from your hand.

The hand behind holds the role of being supportive, stopping them falling backwards. It is an expression of Will.

The hand in front acts from Love, gently touching and infusing the heart with its gentle holding and loving presence.

Find the place where the two energies meet in the body and breathe into that place of balance.

Use your Will in service of your Love. Let Love guide your Will.

© Mike Lousada 2010
Sacred Sexual Healer
www.heartdaka.com